In This Fantastic Issue of February 17 2017

  • Postering Intensifies

    LOGGIA - Another week, another set of posters; however, this set of posters has proven to be even more passive-aggressive than last week. “All Anti-Fascists are Coddled Hippies,” one poster with a picture of a crossed-out hippie sits right above the “We Hate Puppies” club sign. Both posters are a symbol of the changing times as students must decide. “We put our free cupcake sign up at 7:00 AM other day,” said Cady Kemer ‘20. “By the end of breakfast, it was covered by posters condemning the new Babies Are Just Smaller People Club It’s wild.” “It’s been difficult. I...
  • Kington Occupies Gates Tower In Protest of Student Protests

    MAC FIELD - In the early hours of an otherwise typical morning, North Campus students awoke to a big surprise. A giant 100-foot banner decorated with the words “FUCK OFF” stitched in a vertical elegance, hung from the top of Gates Tower to the ground. From the highest window of the tower stood President President “Otherwise Limits” Kington, MD, PhD, HTTP, wielding a megaphone. “THAT’S RIGHT, THIS IS WHAT DEMOCRACY LOOKS LIKE,” he shouted, the sound waves reverberating throughout the entire 120 acres of campus and tearing down some antifa posters in their wake. Students covered their ears as they...
  • Where does Grinnell Get Her Funds?

    BREAKING. Recent student action at No-Lend House and around campus has pressured President RayKay to approach the Board of Trustees about divesting from fossil fuel companies. We asked the trustees how they contribute to Grinnell’s endowment. Losh Eastward ’04, who never got out of Grinnell despite having big dreams of becoming a writer, and now oversees a private project for RayKay, said, “Oh, it’s a modest graft alright; I like to call it ‘Pen-Rose.’ I jog around Grinnell town stealing people’s pens and roses, and sell them back at the Saturday Farmers market. My customers are so bewildered….old and bewildered—it’s...
  • DB Introduces Superlike Feature For $6.99/Mo.

    JRC - The Grinnell College student database, affectionately referred to as DB, is taking strides to make its app more user friendly. The newest update will allow students to slide another user’s profile picture to the left if they want to make a connection or to the right if said user is an uggo. “I’m most excited about the ‘superlike’ feature” adds Supervisor of Application Development, Ted Bernard, “It allows you to hit a button and let someone know that you are more than interested in them. It’s like dedicating a Shakespearian sonnet to the object of your admiration but...
  • Anatomical Heart Harris

    HARRIS – This Saturday marks the first ever Heart Harris, the beginning of a tradition anatomy themed weekend parties. Entirely by sheer coincidence, this week’s festivities align perfectly with the weekend after Valentine’s Day. Scheduling originally had the night of the 18th centered around the humble pancreas, but funding necessitated the switch to a more muscular organ. The event coordinator, Karen Borscht ‘18, is hopeful about the coming weeks, ensuring that “organ parties are totally in the mainstream, and we’re covering it all; Heart Harris, Duodenum Harris, Parathyroid Harris, it’s going to be sick/ill!” It appears that some members of...
  • SHACS Replaces Mental Health Personnell With Dogs

    SHACS - After students responded enthusiastically to a student initiative that established a permanent therapy dog on campus, Grinnell College announced they would be replacing all mental health personnel at Student Health and Counseling Services (SHACS) with therapy dogs. “It sounds unorthodox, but really it’s just common sense,” said Dean of Students Leigh Byrd. “Grinnell is committed to serving our students’ needs and responding promptly to their feedback. So if the student body approves an initiative to bring therapy dogs to campus, replacing all trained mental health professionals with dogs is a natural next step.” According to SHACS Director Anne...
  • Babby’s First Editorial

    OKAY SOMEONE HAS TO SAY IT: We All Take Enormous Advantage Of The Comfort Of Grinnell’s Queer Bubble. I often find myself complaining about queer issues on campus and nitpicking every social situation to death, because I forget just exactly how lucky I am to be a queer person and have a space like Grinnell College. The easiest place to be reminded of this privilege is home. I am from a largely progressive, liberal New York suburb, so I can’t even claim to be a queer person from an oppressive conservative small town. Despite my hometown’s claim to liberalism, the...

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    Issue 2, Volume 28

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