In This Fantastic Issue of February 2 2017

  • What Would You Do With All This Wood?

    JRC- Melanie Gardner ‘18 waits patiently among the hoards of students lining the first floor of the JRC. Each of them eagerly waiting for their shot at handcrafting a pair of chopsticks made from the finest wood Grinnell College has to offer. Grinnellians lost two beloved campus trees due to the erection of the massive new humanities building. “It’s a shame they had to cut down those trees, but I’m glad they are repurposing the wood.” said Gardner. Students toward the end of the line lounge comfortably in sleeping bags and hammocks. “Yeah man, I’ve been here since 4:30p.m.” said...
  • Grinnell Seniors Slowly Disappearing

    MAC FIELD - As the spring semester began, many students are reporting strange occurrences regarding the presence of fourth years in the material plane. “It was as though…people I knew suddenly took on a ghostly presence. I mean, the seniors I knew were pale, but, like, not this pale,” mused second year Jamie Tyler. In fact, many other students are reporting the gradual disappearance of the seniors as they begin their last semester. “We actually see this phenomenon quite a bit in a senior’s last semester,” stated economics professors Janet Brown. “Usually the senior will gradually fade from the physical...
  • Grinnell Proclaims New Year, New Me

    JRC - Even with the New Year having begun just a little over a month ago, Grinnellians all over campus are still proclaiming “New Year, New Me!” while looking to achieve their new year’s resolutions. While some Grinnellians are pursuing the usual goals like flossing more frequently, maintaining a workout routine, not spending all your money from dining hall shifts at Kum & Go, getting better at pretending to get lost in Noyce as to not seem old and jaded, and to break the habit of boofing natty lights, others have their own unique resolutions. Kaley Chung ‘18 is trying...
  • Mysterious ARH Excavation Proceeds As Planned

    ARH’S CORPSE - Construction is in full swing at the ARH-Carnegie construction site. By 2020, the college hopes to open the new Human-Student School for the Cosmos (HSSC). “Yeah—what’s going on here, exactly?” said [human] student Amy Ablestein ’20. “I heard the project cost twenty million dollars, but it’s been a whole semester, and so far all the construction workers have done is dig up the grass and play with giant Legos. I think something else might be going on inside.” Marabel Turquoise [human], the architect commissioned to design the HSSC, is overseeing the project. While he is not on-site,...
  • Film Incorporated Into Most Departments

    This past Thursday, the Computer Science and Mathematics departments hosted a free Thursday night midnight screening of the film Hidden Figures for students. “It was buckets of fun,” said Cassie Cejan ‘19. “Me and my suitor went together. We’d just gotten back from break and it was like we didn’t have to go back to class right away.” Many professors even canceled class the day following the film. Students all reported feeling well-rested after the movie, as if break had not ended. Several are still exhausted, if not hungover, from winter break. Cinematic inspiration has struck other professors as well....
  • Meet Me In The Pit

    Hoo boy. Where to start? I can say that writing current events for Pub Quiz this week was real easy. I’ve been hearing a lot of “meet in the middle” / “bridge the gap” talk lately (at the Posse Plus Retreat and in general). Calls to be compassionate, specifically to those who support Trump’s administration (is there a better way to put it?) I hear about the Middle Ground but jeez. What do you even mean? I suppose I can only speak for myself but I think I’ve been in The Middle. How much deeper am I expected to go,...

Search

    Issue 1, Volume 28

    PDF Here: