In This Fantastic Issue of April 29 2016

  • Task Force Task Force

    This semester, as one of many new initiative, Grinnell has decided to establish a Meta Task Force. “We figured that after establishing the Security Task Force, the Task Force on Residential Learning, and the Global Grinnell Task Force, a Meta Task Force was the way to go,” Siobhan Sharpe, head of Task Force Organization, explained to a group of students. “The propagation of tasks forces has become a phenomena in and of itself, and as such we need to thoughtfully evaluate and regulate it.” The Meta Task Force’s duty is to question why task forces are needed. This task force...
  • Students Fight for Right to be Stupid and Irresponsible

    COWLES - After students taped bags full of broken glass to dorm windows across campus, residence life requested that the bags be removed, as the bags of broken glass did not create an image of the community that the College wants to convey. Also, it’s illegal to possess broken glass in the state of Iowa. Many Grinnell students have become outraged at this recent forced removal. “We’re angry,” huffed an anonymous third year. “Obviously, it’s time to start protesting.” Students across campus seem to agree with this statement, as many have been organizing protests to advocate for their right to...
  • Democracy Shines on SEPC Elections

    AMERICA – Spring in Grinnell can mean one thing and one thing only – election season. As allergies emerge, so do broken promises and political rivalries. Each department elects its Student Educational Policy Committee (SEPC), consisting of third- and fourth-years who pad their resumes by winning a popularity contest. Barb Erikson, Professor of Education, raves that the “SEPC offers a great opportunity for students to get stressed and be judged by their peers. Isn’t that what school is all about?” Erikson’s advice for candidates is to suck up to their peers and harass them on Facebook. Currently leading the Biology...
  • Prom Attendance Mandatory for Graduation

    Effective next year, Grinnell College students will be required to attend the Grinnell High School Prom in order to graduate on time. The announcement came via a campus wide e-mail from the registrar which read: “Starting with the class of 2017, all students must be asked to prom by a Grinnell Tiger and attend both the Prom and the sub-free After Prom.” The e-mail goes on to detail specific requirements, such as requiring academic advisors to approve your pre-prom schedule on WebAdvisor, a minimum of 50 prom photos of which only a maximum of 20 can be selfies, and receipts...
  • Lord of the Rooms

    As the 2015-2016 academic year draws to a close, room draw has occurred once again. Last week, hundreds of students filed into Harris to choose their rooms. Some clung tightly to their soulmate best friend soonto-be roommate while others glanced nervously at the forced roommate next to them wondering feverishly about sleeping habits, sexiling frequencies, and latent hostility. Some students with previous room draw experience came in with more confidence but, unexpectedly, Residence Life decided to implement new policies for 2016. Grace Tern, Residence Life Coordinator, said, “We wanted to bring more of the liberal arts into the process, and...
  • Dining Hall - Chairity or Chairspiracy?

    D-HALL - Ten chairs were lined up in the DHall last week in size order from shortest to tallest. Their names include: “Fiesta Chairs, Chair O’Brian, Chairy Pie, Chairing is Caring, Gooey Butter Cushion and BBQ Pulled Chairs.” President R. King poured over a catalogue of over 918 designer chairs that encompassed styles from over 16 countries. Then, he went on a world tour to personally select the very best. “I call this collection, La Posture de la Derriere, or, The Posture of the Butt. I subscribe to a school of thought that grew out of Plato’s problem of ‘chairness’....
  • The Grinnell Guide to Effectively Surprising the Student Body

    I deeply respect and appreciate the work, talent, and heart that went into this semester’s Drag Show, as well as those of previous semesters. However, it’s seemed to me lately that it has strayed from its original purpose. I came to Grinnell as a straight, cisgender individual with no concept of queerness, and the Drag Show that I attended in my first semester blew me away with its positive energy. Yet now, as a definitely-not-straight person trending toward genderqueer (lol just came out), I can’t help but be disappointed by some of the acts. Again, there are a lot of...

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    Issue 6, Volume 26

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