In This Fantastic Issue of October 16 2015

  • Board of Trustees to Cut Own Budget

    PRIVATE ISLAND - In an effort to turn around Grinnell’s ailing endowment fund situation, the Grinnell Board of Trustees are considering measures that would significantly cut down the money spent on Trustee meals, retreats, meetings, and travelling. “We are very aware that everyone must make sacrifices if the Grinnell endowment wants to continue being profitable” Dex Duthor, a trustee, said. “We are cutting down on financial aid for students, we are getting rid of need-blind aid, dining hall food quality has gone down considerably due to budget cuts… It’s only fair that we do our part too” Some of the...
  • Prospie Performs Library Layover

    BURLING - In light of the onslaught of prospies this past weekend, it’s no wonder one of them went mysteriously missing Sunday night. The second-year charged with hosting said prospie, George Dubloon, was understandably perplexed. “I can’t imagine where he could have gone,” Dubloon tells the B&S. “Students have been doing everything they can to make the prospies feel welcome. I didn’t know what could have driven him away.” The mystery was solved Monday Morning, when James Campbell, the missing high school senior, emerged from Burling. Campbell had just accomplished something no Grinnell student has yet achieved: he stayed the...
  • Neverland Players Using Questionable Tactics?

    BUCKSBAUM - The following is a guest article written by a visiting scholar and professional investigative reporter who has had a prominent career as the 2 a.m. news reporter on NPR for over fifteen years, and has gone to such lengths as following a herd of deer for two weeks and becoming fluent in Esperanto in order to obtain stories. The world-renowned Grinnell phenomenon that is Neverland has always been accepted as fun, family-friendly collaboration between college students and elementary school children. But does its friendly façade hide something something more sinister? Can a group really be that enthusiastic without...
  • City of Grinnell Actually Exists

    OFF CAMPUS - Grinnell students were shocked to hear that Davis Elementary School, located in Grinnell, had been named a Blue Ribbon School by the United States Department of Education. Some were taken aback even by the basic details of the story. “I didn’t even know Grinnell had an elementary school!” said Shania Harill ’19. “I thought Grinnell was mainly just a bunch of houses, churches, and Walmart departments. But I guess it makes sense that there are kids here: I mean some professors have kids, and there are a lot of professors.” Jack Petros ‘17 said, “At first I...
  • Campus Security - Behind the Scenes

    Paul Blart, Grinnell College newest Security Office, looks apprehensively at the obstacle course laid before him. “I’ve been told it would be tough.” he says. “But I’m surrounded by some of the best, and they’ll help me get through this.” The obstacle course Paul is referring to is just one of the many intensive training exercises Grinnell College has its officers do as part of the annual week of Security Review Operation, a series of events intended to “train, teach, and above all, prepare officers for any eventuality that might arise.” The tasks, meant to both teach and test Grinnell...
  • 10/10 Just A Hoax

    NOYCE - This year marked yet another successful 10/10 celebration. Or did it? On the morning of 10/11, an anonymous source left a tip suggesting that 10/10 was a hoax. The note, written on a Wal-Mart receipt for $45.12 of off-brand Doritos, read, “10/10 was a sham, I tell you. A trick, a con, a hoodwink, a bamboozle, a murphy, a leg-puller, a down right lie. And it made fools of all of you! Ridiculous students, so lost in your world of indulgence that you cannot even believe your own taste buds!” Like all tips submitted with proof of purchase,...
  • Take a Shot

    Flu season is approaching, and with it the inevitable antivaccination campaigns. I would like to address these and argue that ultimately, vaccination is necessary. First off, vaccines have been scientifically shown not to cause autism. I literally can’t say anything else about that. Second, some people oppose vaccinations by citing their potential dangers, but such hazards have been proven incredibly rare. Opting out of a vaccine out of fear of side effects is selfish and dangerous. A basic concept in epidemiology is herd immunity: if a certain percentage of a population is immune (via vaccination) to a disease, then the...

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    Issue 4, Volume 25

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