A new club, dubbed Students Against Sexism in Science (or SASS) is making waves in Grinnell’s science department. Founded by and consisting of exclusively white heterosexual cisgender male students across the various sciences with intent of fighting rampant misogyny, it has encountered a surprising resistance from others in joining it.

“I’ve been here for three years, and all this time I had no idea such atrocity existed in Grinnell,” Ellington Franklin McAllister III ’18, a white cis male CS major and one of SASS’s founders, stated. “If only [the misogyny] had been exposed sooner, we might’ve addressed this years ago!”

SASS’s mission statement is: “to spread awareness of the little- known concepts of sexism and misogyny in a venue where students across the social and gender spectrums can come discuss their thoughts (Not to be confused with the Campus Republicans).”

Yet strangely, as BioChem major Bentley Harrison, Jr. ’19 observed, the motto seems to be discouraging potential recruits. “I’ve had students tell me off and say we’re missing the point. But they’re being way too judgmental. Aren’t we men doing good by using our privilege to help bring women up to our level?”

SASS Vice-President Reginald Carlson ’19 is just as baffled. “I don’t get it. We’re doing everything we can to support the needs of women and show how inclusive and anti-sexist we are. We hold meetings once every week, except for during their time of the month. We also meet in women’s bathrooms, as the club voted that as the best way for those of us not among the fair sex to understand them better. And we only serve diet soda for refreshments since that’s what women like to drink. What more could they want from us?”

“I remember the day our first girl joined SASS,” club treasurer Barnaby Worthington ’20 recalled. “We were so excited, we immediately offered her an officer position. It actually worked out because we had an opening for club secretary, but as soon as she heard that part, she stormed out! It’s like she wasn’t even willing to listen to our ideas, how absurd is that?”

While students have mixed feelings about SASS, many science faculty are extremely enthusiastic about its mission statement. In fact, physics professor Callahan Rutherford XVIII was so enthusiastic, he decided to sponsor the club.

“We need all the support we can get for Grinnell’s first club dedicated to finally exposing and resolving the well-hidden subtleties of harmful sexism in our departments,” he droned, adjusting his Old White Guy glasses. “I simply cannot understand why there’s been such backlash from the student body simply because it was founded by men. Boys will be boys; they can’t help who they are. What matters is what they do, and Grinnellians should be thankful for that.”

In the meantime, SASS has offered to bribe students to join. They have had no offers thus far.