My name is Johnny Parker and I am a third grader at Grinnell Elementary School. Every Friday, my mother and father bring me and my three-year-old brother Ike to Grinnell College for dinner because Mommy is working on something called a ten-year. Even though we’ve only been here for five years. I like the dining hall. It has fifty different sodas on tap and scooper hero ice cream which is the best ice cream because it’s so messy and STILL tastes just like vanilla!
The best part of the dining hall isn’t even IN the dining hall! It is outside of the dining hall! It is a big set of cubbies like the kind that kindergartners use. But these cubbies are grown up so they are really cool! All the college grown ups leave their coats and backpacks in it! Whenever my mother brings Ike and I to dinner, I go into the cubbies and look at all of the college students’ coats. And this Friday, when I walked into the cubbies, I was transported to a magical world.
The first thing I found was a huge fur coat. It was very warm and bright yellow. I bet it comes in handy in the winter. There were shiny packages in the left pocket, and when I opened one up, I found a balloon! College grown ups carry balloons around with them just like clowns! I blew up the balloon even though it was very slippery and kept searching.
I also saw a really cool baseball cap that said “I! Recycle!” It looked like it should have been white, but instead it had a lot of dust on it. It smelled like sweaty hair. It was really cool but when I put it on, it made my head itch. But that’s OK because free hats are awesome. I walked around in the free hat for a little bit before I found a super cool book called Cloud Atlas and put it in my backpack. Clouds are really cool.
I also saw a really shiny water bottle that was covered with stickers, which was cool, even though I didn’t understand everything they said, like “So like, how do you know you’re STRAIGHT?” and “Your Privilege is Showing!” Mommy and Daddy say that a privilege is staying up for another hour to watch my favorite TV show BoJack Horseman. I always tell Ike that I get to do this because it makes him cry. I am showing my privilege just like the college grown ups! The water bottle had lemonade in it, but I didn’t drink too much because it tasted funny. After I had drank the drink, I decided to venture a bit deeper into the coats.
I sat in one of the cubbies for a little bit. They are the perfect size to curl up in! A few of the football players walked by and one of them said he was “smashed, dude!” Everyone thought that was very funny. What an excellent saying!
All in all, I think that the coat cubbies in front of the dining hall are the best part about Grinnell. When I go to college, I will carry lots of balloons in my pockets to give to people. If I had to rate the coat cubbies, I would give them a 10/10.