JRC - The Grinnell College student database, affectionately referred to as DB, is taking strides to make its app more user friendly. The newest update will allow students to slide another user’s profile picture to the left if they want to make a connection or to the right if said user is an uggo. “I’m most excited about the ‘superlike’ feature” adds Supervisor of Application Development, Ted Bernard, “It allows you to hit a button and let someone know that you are more than interested in them. It’s like dedicating a Shakespearian sonnet to the object of your admiration but for the modern age.”
Students are waiting in giddy anticipation for the update to be released. “I think it’s a great idea,” Kelly Martel ‘19 weighs in, “DB has always been a key resource in identifying and keeping tabs on beautiful strangers who could be potential lovers. I think this update will streamline that process for sure!”
“DB is the best way to meet people on campus.” recalls Riley Cramson ’17, “I remember when I first saw him working Eggs-to-Order. He had eyes like swimming pools and a nametag that read CHARLES, that was all I needed. I DB’d him, Google Earth’d his campus address, and now we ‘re engaged to be married this spring.” The updated profiles will include vital information like on-campus occupation, relationship status, and a “bio” section for students to explain a little about themselves through the use of emojis and references to astrological concepts. In-app purchases will let users spend Campus Cash to upgrade for a more tailored experience. For $6.99/month users will be able to filter potential matches by variables including class year, longboarding proficiency, hair dye intensity, and more.
Unfortunately, there are still limitations to the technology. The lead programmer on the project, Liam Attworth, adds, “There is absolutely no way to change the photo associated with a profile; the technology just isn’t there yet. A student’s profile will feature the photo which appears on their Pioneer One cards, no exceptions. This comes as an inconvenience to some but maybe in a couple of years, computer science will advance to meet this need.” Remember, 103% of Grinnellians marry other Grinnellians so make sure you update your apps.