As most of the Grinnell student body already knows, Clark Hall has been a victim of a wild unprecented infestation of bats this semester. This past weekend, third baseman for the Pioneer Softball team, Layla Boris ‘18, had the misfortune of opening her door to find a bat in her room.

This bat was unlike any of the others that have previously been found haunting Clark. It was docile and remained still until Layla ventured to pick it up. Boris decided to keep it and name it Bubba. Boris admits to having ‘abolutely no frikking idea’ on how to take care of a bat and to “winging it” every time she found one. Now that she and Bubba have become acquainted, Boris stated, “I’ve really gotten into the swing of things. Bubba doesn’t require that much care.”

According to Boris, the bat spends most of its time hiding away in a bag at the back of her closet. Layla accordingly named the bat’s bag a “bat bag” (patent pending.) Boris also claims that the bat loves to accompany her on the field. She hauls the “bat bag” to the field, and as she plays, Bubba patiently waits for her in the dugout.

A few of Layla’s friends on the baseball team—who also live in Clark—have never seen a bat quite like Bubba. In fact, most of them claim they have never even seen a bat before, let alone picked one up. Those that have seen what Layla and Bubba can do, are terrified of the relationship between this girl and her bat. The football team was so inspired by the outstanding performance of the softball team since they adopted Bubba, that they caught their own team bat. Sadly, it didn’t seem to help in their season opener, as the bat resulted in a match-costing penalty.

When Boris was asked what she plans to do with Bubba when she travels for softball games, Layla had these words to offer. “I plan on taking Bubba with me wherever I go. I’ve never considered playing a game without my bat,” said Boris. “When the opposing teams see how far that bat can carry a ball, they’ll definitely run to the store for bats of their own.”

Because of Layla and her relationship with her bat, Bubba, the rest of the conference is wondering why they had never thought of getting bats themselves.