As the 2015-2016 academic year draws to a close, room draw has occurred once again.
Last week, hundreds of students filed into Harris to choose their rooms. Some clung tightly to their soulmate best friend soonto-be roommate while others glanced nervously at the forced roommate next to them wondering feverishly about sleeping habits, sexiling frequencies, and latent hostility.
Some students with previous room draw experience came in with more confidence but, unexpectedly, Residence Life decided to implement new policies for 2016.
Grace Tern, Residence Life Coordinator, said, “We wanted to bring more of the liberal arts into the process, and so we decided to partner with the recent production of Lord of the Flies in order to promote classic literature.“
“I did think it was a little weird that we had to leave our bags and phones outside and as soon as we all got into the room we were all handed spears and the door was bolted shut but I guess I didn’t think too much of it. Grinnell does weird stuff all the time,” said Chloe Carson ‘18.
According to sourc es, an RLC got up in the front of the crowd of students, blew into a conch shell, and announced that they needed to elect a leader.
At first, students seemed excited by the idea of freedom. However, they quickly they realized the graveness of their situation. Quickly, groups began forming. One group of intended Jamaland inhabitants be gan chanting, “Kill the map! Spill its blood!
“I had no idea where it came from.” said Tyler Linden ‘19, “All of a sudden I just had an intense urge to throw a spear through an animal’s head, a feeling I’ve only ever experienced the day before a stats exam.”
Instead of placing name stickers on the room maps as in the past, students were required to use their thumbs to smear the blood of the community advisor of their choice.
After hours of brawls, fires lit on the bleachers, and students clawing their way to smear blood on their room of choice, the chaos appeared to subside and the surviving community advisors unlocked the doors.
On the way out, while passing by bodies strewn about, branches and leaves, and the remains of various wild animals, Jordan Pace ’18 described the event as “pretty much a typical Harris