MAIN QUAD – Flaky sources have stated that Waltz committee members are Snow-Conecerned by their chilling realization last year that people only come to Waltz for the fresh fruit.

Last year, after weeks of work to make Waltz a real winter (mostly by setting up really ice decorations and by making sure that the dance instructor was a step above), the Waltz Committee froze in their tracks after seeing that the conga line to the fruit had more people than the slick dance floor. Committee member Nemo Frost complained, “Waltz was supposed to be about sledding across the floor to music with some real solstice and wearing glovely clothes, not getting berried in a line of people waiting for some low-hanging fruit.” Frost went on to talk about how much money the committee spent on cool attractions, which were now being completely overshadowed by the grape selection of fruits: “We were really banking on the snow machine and thought a live band would be instrumental to making the dance classy, but it appears that neither is as appeeling as the peachy hors d’oeuvres.”

By the time that Waltz had gotten into full swing, students dripping in kiwi-juice could be seen foxtrotting over to the dance floor as they realized that the fruit line had become too long. One first year commented, “I was worried that without a date, snowbody would want to dance with me, but some upperclassmen told me not to sweater it, since the only reason to mango was the fruit.” As the dance went on, late-comers could be seen asking students with fruit left to be cherrytable and share, while other students enjoyed a little dancing in the limelight. Not long after, students used their egg-noggins and quickly peeled off to other parties to find more noteworthy music and drinks.

A couple days afterwards, the Waltz Chair disclosed that, “It was ice crystal clear that the fruit was the apple of most student’s eyes, which shocked me to my core. I just hope we don’t get too many formal resignations from committee members, though that would freeze up space for people to change waltz to a more food-oriented event, which could be fruitful. If it happens again this year, I’ll be flurrious.”