MAC FIELD - The Grinnell Administration has decided to curb the noxious fumes emanating from the campus’s resident Ginkgo tree, located outside the JRC on the edge of Mac Field, by placing a corded string around the tree that will encourage the tree’s smell to stay away from students.

“The string will hopefully hold back the odors coming from the tree, allowing students to walk safely by,” said an administrative spokesperson, who expressed “reasonable confidence” that these measures would work. Critics say this approach was in line with the approaches the administration has taken towards race issues and sexual assault issues on campus, in that it will be horribly ineffective, barely address the issues at hand, and not cause any real change at all.

The administrations measures come amidst recent controversy surrounding the supposed powers and potential threats of the tree.

For the past year, student have made serious allegations against the Gingko tree and its aromas, with some students being wary to even set foot a few hundred meters of the pungent organism, opting for alternative routes to the dining hall.

“Even if it means walking all the way around the JRC to avoid contact with the fumes, it’s worth it” said Ophelius Daniels ‘17. Other allegations against the gingko are quite serious: “I don’t remember anything that happened at Gardener, and I’m positive it was because I walked past the tree that night,” Louise Myers ‘19 whispers in a shaky tone.

Despite the complaints, the Gingko tree has seen the creation of a rapidly growing underground grassroots campaign focused on giving the gink a go, to much of the opposition’s horror. Many pro-Gingko students have reported success in pulling all-nighters with relative ease, thanks to gathering the squashed seeds from the ground and grinding them into easily transportable gingko goo. Others talk about utilizing it as pseudo love potions or mixing the fruits in with Dining Hall food to make the food “actually taste of something that isn’t cardboard.”

It seems that there is still much to learn about our mysterious arboreus. Whether the administrations measures will turn out to be effective in the long run, only time will tell.