ALL OVER CAMPUS - As the 2015-2016 academic year gets fully underway, Grinnell College finds itself once again shrouded in controversy. Once the class of 2019 completed NSO and slowly became accustomed to becoming part of the “tree¬huggin’, Bernie lovin’ community” that characterizes Grinnell College, they found themselves being crammed into campus dorms at alarming rates.

Due to the size of Grinnell College’s incoming first ¬year class, the Grinnell Administration has decided that the newbies at the bottom of the totem pole would be sardine-packed into campus dorms. Tactics utilized by the administration include converting doubles to triples, triples to quads, and lining spare rooms in the JRC with prison-style bunks so as to accommodate the new students. Hammocks have been hung on the South Campus fire escapes for students, and GORP sleeping bags have been strewn across East Campus lawns and thrive on a first come, first serve basis, in what the administration calls a “desperate measure to fight a desperate situation”.

Fire escape 243 resident Alexandra Paul had this to say:

“I selected Younker Pit shower bunks as my first choice but I’ve since grown accustomed to the hammock life. Sure, the rain isn’t ideal and the gusts of chemical death spray from Noyce aren’t super great for my pores, but it could be worse. At least I didn’t get placed in the sewer pipes under Rose. That would’ve stunk!” Studentson was later interrupted mid-ramble about pun club by a squirrel attempting to burrow into her living arrangements.

The Committee on Overcrowding (CoO), though, is not happy with slow progress made so far and says it has plans in the making to enact further changes. Some future rules the CoO are considering creating include “Any new student caught bragging about having a car on campus must immediately remove all belongings from his or her dorm and relocate to the vehicle.”, and “Anyone caught playing Wonderwall on guitar in a dorm lounge must sleep on the dhall tray slide for two weeks, incurring an extra-weeks penalty if said student is wearing a muscle shirt at the time of the incident or has forgotten to shower”.

As the 2015-¬2016 academic year gets fully underway, Grinnell College finds itself once again shrouded in controversy. Once the class of 2019 completed NSO and slowly became accustomed to becoming part of the “tree¬huggin’, Bernie lovin’ community” that characterizes Grinnell College, they found themselves being crammed into campus dorms at alarming rates.

Due to the size of Grinnell College’s incoming first ¬year class, the Grinnell Administration has decided that the newbies at the bottom of the totem pole would be sardine-packed into campus dorms. Tactics utilized by the administration include converting doubles to triples, triples to quads, and lining spare rooms in the JRC with prison-style bunks so as to accommodate the new students. Hammocks have been hung on the South Campus fire escapes for students, and GORP sleeping bags have been strewn across East Campus lawns and thrive on a first come, first serve basis, in what the administration calls a “desperate measure to fight a desperate situation”.

Fire escape 243 resident Alexandra Paul had this to say:

“I selected Younker Pit shower bunks as my first choice but I’ve since grown accustomed to the hammock life. Sure, the rain isn’t ideal and the gusts of chemical death spray from Noyce aren’t super great for my pores, but it could be worse. At least I didn’t get placed in the sewer pipes under Rose. That would’ve stunk!” Studentson was later interrupted mid-ramble about pun club by a squirrel attempting to burrow into her living arrangements.

The Committee on Overcrowding (CoO), though, is not happy with slow progress made so far and says it has plans in the making to enact further changes. Some future rules the CoO are considering creating include “Any new student caught bragging about having a car on campus must immediately remove all belongings from his or her dorm and relocate to the vehicle.”, and “Anyone caught playing Wonderwall on guitar in a dorm lounge must sleep on the dhall tray slide for two weeks, incurring an extra-weeks penalty if said student is wearing a muscle shirt at the time of the incident or has forgotten to shower”.