Hi, [2019]

We believe that you are the future. And not just because we are aware that we are confined to a linear concept of time as three-dimensional creatures. We don’t know you, and you don’t know us, and you don’t know each other, so memorize these and use them as icebreakers when you meet each other.

Love and salutations, from The B&S, respectively

Lauren Acker is a direct descendent of Josiah B. Grinnell. Anisha Agarwalla is done with the Bachelorette after last season. Anna Ahrens has the most posts on the 2019 Facebook group. Ala Akkad is still not exactly sure where Grinnell actually is. Jason Al-Adsani turned down an offer to play for the Women’s US Soccer Team so they could attend Grinnell. Hilary’s private email server reveals her close friendship with Thomas Aldrich. Zayn’s decision broke Faizaan Ali’s heart. The new fantastic Four is the best move Ashley Alto has ever seen. Paps Ampim-Darko slept through all of NSO. Phillip An actually was in the Grinnell Class of 2015, but they couldn’t bear to leave. Julia Anderson forgot to register for classes. Hunter Antonisse has travelled as part of a circus troupe since age 4. Nicole Arredondo, age 10, is the youngest enrolled student in Grinnell’s history. Alex Asawa applied to 26 colleges. Mujtaba Aslam is a sloth whisperer. Rene Ayala is minor royalty. Emily Ba killed Cecil the lion’s father. Bailey Bagneris is a candidate in the Republican primaries. Preksha Bajaj has found themself a cheerleader. Sophie Banegas actually can never feel their face, but they love it. Jay Barnes sees right through you. Rachel Bass is there if you ever need a shoulder to cry on. Andrea Baumgartel is planning on creating a Super PAC to support Bernie Sanders. Myles Becker was a socialist before you even knew about Bernie Sanders. Ben Carson has inspired Joe Beggs to become a neurosurgeon. Ceci Bergman made it to callbacks for the role of helpless citizen in the next Avengers movie. Mary Rose Bernal has decided to camp out for the Star Wars VII premier instead of attending Grinnell this semester. Maddie Birchfield’s Instagram pics now appear in galleries around the world. Mattori Birnbaum is secretly a vigilante, but their glasses hide their identity. Anna Blinderman is independently conducting research into what really happened with Deflategate. Harley Boatsman has managed to rig the course registration system. Griffin Boehm wrote a five-page definition of self-gov when they applied to Grinnell. Nolan Boggess is actually an undercover food critic sent to rate the dining hall. Lily Bohlke took a round the world road trip before coming to Grinnell. Danica Bojovic has already taken the MCAT three times, for practice. Kiara Borosky had never seen corn before coming to Grinnell. Greyson Bourgeois is on a medically prescribed monochromatic diet, so they only eat blue foods. Britt Bovbjerg is smoother than a fresh jar of Skippy. Mira Braneck is thinking ‘bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways. Tim Brennhofer’s like “hey, what’s up, hello”. Cara Bresnahan decorated their dorm room with artfully patterned clothing tags. Ruth Brindel hired a stylist for their fall semester wardrobe. Allison Brink ran a booth selling deep fried organic quinoa açai patties at the Iowa State fair. Rachel Brodt listens to bands that not only have you not heard of, but they don’t even have names yet. Acadia Broussard is the most interesting student in the world. Bailey Brown is planning on being the first Uber driver in Grinnell. Today, Siri Bruhn realized they weren’t in Kansas anymore. The name’s Brunet. Chris Brunet. Caelin Bryant has the seventh sense. Eliza Bunnell truly appreciates the work that went into creating these sentences. The force is strong with Emily Burgess. Tim Burnette believes in Jon Snow. Reggie Bynum uses a skateboard as their only means of transportation. Julian Cabrera is actually identical twins who pretend they are the same person. Aiden Call speaks 1.75 languages. Sarah Cannon cries every time. Hoang Cao lied about visiting Mount Rushmore. Lila Cardozo doesn’t even go here (yet). Charles Carr brought 8 suitcases AND a backpack. Nicole Carver’s roommate still hasn’t shown up. Carson Cary knows a suspiciously large amount of critical theory already. Simon Caskey is excited to go to “the Harvard of the Midwest”. Ania Chamberlin will graduate early. Martin Chamberlin will drop out to write the next great American novel. Dennis Chan saw Akon live 6 times. Elizabeth Chapman-Orr puts Hawkeye in their cereal. Cameron Chen isn’t part of the Witness Relocation Program. Jiayun Chen is definitely not a narc. Yilin Chen is related to Sarah Palin but really, REALLY doesn’t want anyone to know. Vivian Cheslack is friends with Tinashe’s sister. Yoon Choi already slept in the Wellness Lounge. June Christian is excited to see snow for the first time! Sonia Chulaki has 11 toes. Peter Cipriano sneezed on Uma Thurman at a Starbucks. Maria Ciupka is already a campus celebrity. John Clark has won every hackathon-event and doesn’t even remember it. Amelia Cogan met Michelle Pfeiffer at a dance party but didn’t remember to add sugar to her coffee. Charlotte Cohen built the fastest roller coaster in the world but is too small to ride in it. Jasper Cole-Kink spent all summer to see how long they could sleep through the alarm before kicking it. Dj Coleman spent their summer wandering the sewers of Iowa. Jose Coloma Ponce De Leon has already gone into Starbucks shock. Daniel Cook knows the entire Wonderpets theme song by heart. Megumi Corley is secretly Honey Boo Boo. Alayna CostnerWithee just escaped from a virtual reality lab. Nate Crail has a twin sister who lives in their mirror. Vinny Curta is a Young Adult heroine. Joshua Cussen still hasn’t checked their email. Haley Jo Cultrone knows exactly what nail polish color you’re wearing. Sam Dahlke doesn’t know who Gwen Stefani is. Muhammad Damanhuri writes Jaden Smith’s tweets. Maggie Dambro only writes in yellow ballpoint pen. Noah Daniel is a ray of sunshine, dammit. Sylvia Davison has a pocketful of sunshine. Alyssa DeBella was cool for the summer and hot for the winter. Brandon DeBella thinks there MUST be more than this provincial life. Sophia Deleonibus invented their own astrological sign. Gabby DeRoche eats books. Tom Derrah is wishing for the one they love to find them someday. Graham Dodd gets Bookstore loyalty reward points. Maisy Dodge just finished the most wonderful story about a beanstalk and an ogre and… Alec Doss was an extra in the unaired pilot of Tina Fey’s newest show. Lucie Duffy is the self-proclaimed DIVA of the class of 2019. Stephen Duhaney was an extra on Masterchef. Mark Duncan’s aesthetic is a box of Skittles. Steven Duong brings fear to every situation. Julia Dursztman can outdance Maddie Ziegler. Greg Eastman is going to swing from the chandelier. Kiley Eichelberger is talkin’ bodies. Claire Eide IS liberal arts. Hannah Eom wears only clear nail polish. Jeremy Epstein loves monkeys. Reed Essex doesn’t believe in shower curtains. Ethan Evans wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy. Dani Schreiber-Evans is yelling “Timber”. Judith Fan didn’t bring anything to Grinnell. Liberty Farrell spent the summer building up an immunity to iocane powder. Lexi Faust is a Southern princess. Max Fenton will be starring on a new Disney Channel Original Series next year. Chandler Fisher says “Hey y’all” and “Hee-Haw”. Ross Floyd dances in the rain and cries in the sun. Noah Fluharty writes concrete poems about world leaders. Emma Foulkes sneezes with their eyes open. Coincidentally, Nick Foulon owns the same breed of dog as Shaun White. Lauren Frankel is voting for Vermin Supreme in this year’s presidential election. Emily Friedman writes garage door patents in their spare time. Jacob Friedman convinced a TSA agent that they were Barbra Streisand. Once, Brianisha Frith drew a picture of an elephant inside a boa constrictor. Anthony Fu wants to be an accountant when they grow up. Tula Fuchs refuses to believe that all lies begin with a grain of truth. Mitsuki Fujio dances in the shower. Courtenay Fyffe-Williams holds a monthly piano concert on the roof of the JRC. Jeff Gabell is pursuing legal action against the manufacturers of a butter substitute for setting unrealistic expectations. Ryan Galang is using the College phone booths to conduct an elaborate market research survey. Eve Galen interned for James Franco last summer. Understandably, Rory Gallagher has yet to utilize D Hall food to its fullest extent. Successfully tracking international criminals has gotten Morgane Garnier in with twelve national governments. Sophie Gaschott thinks Scarecrow Boat is a great name for a band. George Ge questions authority. Amelia Geser had lunch with Santa Claus on the deck of a luxury cruise ship. Jonathan Gilmour only wears brown socks. Emily Gold has never painted their toenails. Isaac Gold won 283 high school debates. Ashley Gomez shows up to class early. Karla Gomez has a fantastic head of hair. Addison Gould crushes ice using willpower alone. Eden Gregory was shooting pool when the Fire Nation attacked. Crossing their fingers causes Ben Grubb to cross their eyes as well. Zoe Grubbs understands me better than anyone else in this noseless statue of a town. Pat Gruggen knows the owner of the Keystone Motel and the governor of the Keystone state. Kai Gui has planned a backpacking trip across the Galapagos Islands. Rong Guo can’t wait for this song to be over. Yu Guo unearthed a mysterious artifact next to the ginormous tree on Mac Field. Jack Gustafson thinks it should be unlawful to wear white after Labor Day. Iridian Guzman groans whenever the city of Amsterdam is mentioned, and no one can figure out why. Daria Guzzo writes post cards to strangers in the hopes of accidentally finding true love. Sean Haggerty rolls a six-sided die every time someone inquires when they can meet up. Sydney Hamamoto has released twenty-three studio albums to date. Under cover of darkness, Jordan Hamilton filled a local cornfield with crop circles. Lily Hamilton goes to bed at eight o’clock on school nights. Silas Hammel treats all people as if they were family. Muhammad Hamza has all Mercutio’s lines from ‘Romeo and Juliet’ memorized. Beth Ann Hansen can identify the works of most Cubist painters in under ten seconds. Pieter Hansen never underestimates the underdog. Leah Harris can play Pinochle better than anyone else at Grinnell. Allison Hartman successfully teaches dogs how to read. Shariq Hasan understands that sometimes there’s nothing one can do but wait for the right moment to strike. Nyx Hauth wears two hats instead of one because it’s “fashion’s next major breakthrough.” Abby Hellweg finds nothing more attractive than a thirst for unadulterated justice. Erik Henderson is representing a butter substitute manufacturer in an upcoming lawsuit. Grappling with bears has increased Wyatt Heritage’s upper body strength significantly. Making eye contact with Arturo Hernandez-Ramirez’s left sleeve will give you a 10% better score on your next Calculus exam. Moises Herrera is building a time machine in the basement of Noyce. Nico Herzberg recognizes that, ultimately, chaos is triumphant. Cassidy Hilburn understands that this world is too complicated for us to grasp. Nora Hill believes that everything in the universe is connected by very thin, very long strings. Austin Himschoot beat pharmaceutical companies in patenting the world’s first stress-relieving ointment. Zach Hitzeroth managed to fit a twelve-piece drum kit in their half of the room. Ben Hoekstra plays croquet with reckless abandon. Jackson Holcomb sees the beauty in the world’s most scorned things. Gwen Holtzman hopes worldwide political instability will launch us into a new era of progress. Luke Howard uses C.S. Lewis quotes to assuage conflict situations. Rebecca Hsiung believes our grandchildren will colonize the moon. Maddie Hughes cannot wait for the Legend of Korra comics to come out. Esther Hwang insists they should have been born a Gemini. Mithila Iyer cannot understand why the secret tunnels underneath the campus aren’t being used to avoid ice and shoveling. Claire Jackan wakes up to whale song every morning via phone alarm. Tyler Jackson takes the train to work. Lydia James bakes one cookie at a time. Catelyn Janda has created more original characters than there are Grinnell students. Megan Jans wears their bathrobe around the dorms as if it were kingly finery. Henry Jantzen attends protest rallies to stop associating beer and ramen with college students. Josh Jensen accepts the inevitable. Talera Jensen read the last Harry Potter book three months before it was officially released. No one knows how Anjali Jha has been able to remain calm in these tumultuous times. Isaac Jing graduated 3.5th in their class. Ky-Sean Johnson glowers at anyone who refuses to give Cultrone them with a firm handshake. Damien Johnson would rather paint the entire college red than see it change its mascot again. Leah Johnson wants nothing more than a pair of thick woolen socks. Emily Jordan refuses to accept that the Spencer Grill is in the same building as the dining hall. Emma Kalkowski-Farrand builds Lego cities to express their simultaneous wonder at modernity and fear about the human condition. Raghav Kalra has already completed fifteen homework assignments. Ashley Kang has yet to fully grasp the glory of free laundry. Contrary to popular belief, Sydney Kasper does not hail from New Mexico. Regan Kasprak knows more ancient languages than anyone else in the Midwest. Sayles Kasten brought three Snoop Lion posters to college. Jeff Keele plans to become the “Batman of Grinnell College.” When Maddie Kirwin enters a room, its occupants burst into song. Bethany Knaff has known Donald Trump would run since season 3 of ‘Celebrity Apprentice.’ Joseph Knopke is also known as “Blaze.” Eyram Koblah reads restaurant menus for fun. Audrey Kocher was caught dancing alone yesterday and danced even harder. Michael Kolanowski marathons ‘Gilmore Girls’ into the wee hours of the morning. Under suspicion of interplanetary communication, Gray Krewson has been questioned by NASA. Harlan Kuhr ran out of hangers yesterday. Nate Kulczak has already been on the roof of every building on campus. May Kurata wears sunglasses at night. Dario Labrada eats a banana every morning for potassium purposes. Abyaya Lamsal can’t wait to see what the train is all about. Elizabeth Lane divines the future with a deck of standard playing cards. Zach Lane cannot decide between blue and green as a favorite color. Hung Le believed in Korrasami from the beginning. Jackson Lea didn’t even apply to Grinnell. Lucas LeDoux plans to start a tofu delivery service named yellow phallus. Michelle Lee doesn’t wear pink on Wednesdays. Wan Leggins still doesn’t know where the JRC is. Ally Leicht is in a one person band. John Lennon has heard that joke already. Bradt LeSher found Waldo 3 out of 8 times. Story Lesher is taking an 11 credit semester. Ravi Levens found and ate a free brownie in Cleveland. Anais Levin may have five senses, but one of them isn’t common. Bryce Lew played the Golden Snitch in the Harry Potter films. As a prospie, Maisie Lewis got lost in Noyce and still hasn’t made it out. Cherie Li needs caffeine now. RayK’s BFF is Emma Libersky. Benjamin Lieberman has stolen 3.27 pies from D-Hall. Andrew Lieman didn’t cry while watching “the Notebook”. Ben Lim has said “YOLO” twice. Will Lindell doesn’t know classes have already started. Kyle Lindsey always reads the ending first. Sid Litke claims to love Harry Potter but has only seen the movies. Liangchen Liu breaks into buildings in order to feel alive. Maggie Loery fainted when Martin O’Malley finally entered the room. Chrysolite Loglo fainted when they first heard Bernie Sanders was coming to Grinnell. Carolyn Lorch faints at the literal drop of a hat. Charlotte Love has found a way into the tunnel system. Zhiye Lu has incredibly well trained Pokémon. Hadley Luker hasn’t spoken for the last two years as part of a long running psych experiment. Khoi Luu has secret nicknames for everyone they meet. Ningyi Lyu is often mistaken for Jennifer Lawrence. Yuhang Ma would rather not talk about it. Lauren MacKenzie is taking advantage of free laundry by using the dryers to make ramen. Jordan Maddaus is campaigning for America to join the Eurozone by 2020. Nora Madrigal was born on September 3, 2015. Mayuko Maeda always manages to be first in line for eggs to order. Henry Mahar is 100% divergent. Vivien Makos is a decepticon. Samantha MalySchmidt watches Inside Out at least once a week. Emily Mamrak’s entire wardrobe consists of 80’s rock band t-shirts, including pants. Madison Marcus has a secret pet chinchilla they keep in their backpack. Run, Peter Marsh, run! Sometimes, Lex Martin goes into prophetic trances where they can predict the homework before it is assigned. You think you know what Reina Matsuura looks like, but they are actually wearing a mask all the time. Tiffany Matzas commutes to Silicon Valley every weekend to run their startup company. Bretta McCall is an only child. Cory McCartan is going to study abroad on Mars. Forever. Sarah McCarthy participates in quadrathelons- running, biking, swimming, and competitive speed dating. Catherine McCusker sleeps upside down like a bat. Katie McDonald is a werewolf – but the complex and sensitive kind. Oen McKinley is currently undergoing a protracted legal battle with their roommate over quiet hours. John Mehlhaus was the first actor to play the E-Trade baby. Emily Meier is the third Olsen twin. Sofi Mendez Subieta is planning on triple majoring. Katie Menssen is a pickling enthusiast. Candace Mettle was the inspiration for Indiana Jones. Brodie Mikuta has opted for the Dari Barn meal plan. Lucas Miller is planning an independent major in Alchemy. Pat Min astrally projects to Grinnell from home. Addison Mock has always wondered what it would be like to be inside the bag of popcorn. Caitlyn Mohr is machine-washable. Carlo Morini Cobo ages on a twenty-year cycle. Jordan Morris was thrilled to find canned bread at Wal-Mart. Andrew Moy has layers. Aditi Munshi burps menacingly when threatened. Mikyla Murphy can extract oil from any material. Riley Murphy has a nocturnal gallbladder. Amanda Murray will only admit visitors to their room who correctly answer a riddle. Nicolette Musachio uses crushed beetles as ink. Selah Mystic isn’t here to make friends, they’re here to win. Kamal Nadesan only wears animal prints. Mariam Nadiradze only wears vegetable prints. Sam Nakahira only wears mineral prints. Gemma Nash runs a puppet government as an extracurricular. Rachel Nastelin can clap with one hand. Julia Neish still has every piece of gum they’ve ever chewed. Ben Nguyen leaves no stone unturned because they like to look for bugs underneath. Quynh Nguyen is fluent in the language of flowers. Pinyao Nie admits that it did hurt when they fell from heaven. Vincent Noh loves hearing people complain about the weather. Sara Nookala feels like an oak tree. Elvira Nurmukhamedova still uses a Walkman. Sean O’Reilly thinks that safety goggles are for the weak. Benj Ogden-Lord collects dryer lint. Robin Oh will singlehandedly recover and repair all Campus Bikes. Aditya Ohrie is bringing back the popped collar. Emma Olson rides to class on a Segway. Kaylee Olson doesn’t show up in photographs. Farah Omer outsources their homework to middle-schoolers. Katie Orsund listens to jazz ironically. Sophie Paek can’t spell “Poweshiek”. Eric Paige is on every campus mailing list. Irene Pan farms krill in their dorm room. Lysimachos Papoutsis considers knitting to be a sport. Charlie Paquette is a registered trademark. April Park didn’t expect the Spanish Inquisition. Vinny Pavoni Gomes is the saint referred to in “Saint’s Rest”. Kirtimay Pendse is worth their weight in wool. Linqing Peng runs laps in Noyce for exercise. Helen Pfeifer came to Iowa for the hiking. Anh Thu Pham can outrun a combine. Mateusz Pietrusiak can be found in the App Store. Kaya Prasad wants Russ to be their adviser. Jamal Preston invented a dance move called “The Oil Rig”. Anastasia Pulak was the inspiration for Teen Wolf. Alexa Raasch is an amateur tornado chaser. Lizzy Rabchuk’s sweat is the secret ingredient in Chanel #5. Vince Reilly is a marsupial. You can bring Lukas Resch to water, but you cannot make them drink. An Emily Rhodes a day keeps the doctor away. Charlotte Richardson-Deppe is thicker than water. Caitlin Richter is the mother of invention. Talk of Cole Riley and they are sure to appear. While Meghan Riley’s away, mice can play. A watched Jillian Rix never boils. You can’t make a silk purse out of Moya Roarty’s ear. Don’t count Emma Roback before they hatch. A stich in time saves Joey Robertson. Don’t throw Rayyon Robinson out with the bath water. You can catch more flies with Anne Rogers than with vinegar. Corinne Rolfs lives in Norris Pit. Edward Rosenblum laces their shoes cooler than you. Ryan Rosol prefers granite countertops. Naomi Runder discovered the West Pole. Veronica Ruse enjoys mosquito bites. Denise Ruvalcaba doesn’t need these newfangled gadgets to have a good time. Takshil Sachdev is solely decorating their room with receipts. Eli Salm learned French just to play Scrabble. Elyse Salpekar speaks only in rhyme. Tyrea’l Samuel still has all of their baby teeth. Brian Sands spent the summer in a chrysalis. Jemuel Santos is an heir to the Cage fortune. Charlie Saunders takes notes in cuneiform. Austin Schilling-Stumpner finds you humans very intriguing. Nora Schoenle searches with Bing. Phoebe Schreckinger organized their room according to the golden ratio. Michael Schroeder has never had The Hiccups. Olivia Schuette is cool in French. Chip Scott runs on rechargeable batteries. Noah Segal runs on premium unleaded. Ana Segebre Salazar runs on a hydroelectric dam. Every fortune cookie fortune that Lily Seibert has ever read has come true. Max Semba wears toeless socks. Jonny Shapiro is an anagram of “I am Lord Voldemort”. Rojina Sharma communicates solely through flag semaphore. Patrick Sheehan-Klenk consistently tips 50%. Muhammad Waez Sheikh can’t read analog clocks. Edward Sheng rescues worms from puddles. Everything Andrew Shults touches turns to foam. Lucy Sidi repairs office supplies for a reasonable price. Bardan Sigdel loiters to demonstrate opposition to authority. Zane Silk does their best thinking at Harris parties. Christian Simon is here as a part of a reality show. Vidushi Sinha only eats food after its expiration date in order to “live dangerously”. Vrishali Sinha is offering free cootie shots. Ryan Slager leads a Maroon 5 tribute band, and yes, they do weddings. Daniel Somorov lost all of their Campus Cash in a game of dominoes. Carrie Stallings has the voice of an angle. Liz Stepp uses Hawkeye to disinfect wounds. Sophia Stern eats everything out of bowls. Samuel Stickels still practices a self-enforced daily recess. Sonia Storck colors on the lines. Logan Stuart hates the taste of water. Joy Suh loves jury duty. Xiaobo Sun laughs whenever someone says “duty”. Yuyin Sun can solve a Rubik’s Cube from another room. Michael Sundby is single-celled. Zachary Susag only wears velvet. Rachel Swoap submits homework assignments by drone. Yun Tang is paying for tuition with their Wheel of Fortune winnings. Richard Tanimoto wears a Venetian plague mask during flu season. Rachel Tappe eats the peel of the banana. Megan Tcheng only uses Google’s social media. We are all just characters in Carla Tenorio Rueda’s young adult novel. Becca Teske takes bites out of string cheese. Max Tetrik is the author of My Immortal. The square of Lucid Thomas is equal to the sum of the squares of their two sides. Hassan Thompson has radial symmetry. Abigail Thomson challenged the Law to a game of chess. Michellie Thurman goes for joyrides on lawnmowers. Saung Thuya used to have a crush on Big Bird. Joshua Tibatemwa does a spot-on Elmo impression. Dani Tiedemann is totally never sarcastic. Masato Tokuhara was born on a jet ski. Juliet Torres can see infrared. Khadijah Toumbou is in search of the notorious Noyce Treasure. Minh Tran always puts noses in emoticons. Anna Tuchin is the source of all paper jams. Tanner Tufto was raised by a conspiracy of lemurs. Sophie Tupper is always on thyme. Bronwen Tursman is licensed to dill. Caleb Ulring is oregan-over it. Tara Verma snacks on packing peanuts. Alfredo Villalobos-Perez accidentally bought a Nickelback CD, and was ridiculed mercilessly by Keli Vitaioli. Elena Voisin’s knees are weak and their arms are heavy. Kai Vorhies actually likes Donald Trump’s hair. Molly Vornholt once tried to get high off catnip. Hung Vuong wrote over fifty thousand stems for the B&S, and didn’t get a single penny from them. Millicent Wakeman suggested suing, but Derek Wang argued for the classic but more effective “bat-to-the-kneecap” approach. John Wang embraced college life. Anna Warm was not embraced by college life. Dana Watkiss has promised to never have an existential crises. Ashley Wehrenberg is the captain now. Dylan Welch watched Up without crying, making Emma Willhardt think they may be a soulless psychopath. Liz Williams only has friends because of their Cards Against Humanity Deck. Ella Williams got sexiled from their room because of a flash orgy. Hazel Williams’s milkshake does not, surprisingly, bring all the boys to the yard. Tyler Williams could have become the cofounder of Twitter, but instead came to Grinnell. Carina Wilson confused mushrooms with shrooms and had a very interesting risotto for lunch. Ben Wing prefers the Star Wars prequels to the sequels. Temitayo Wolff has dealt with dank memes. Alec Wood thought the dining hall offered quality food, before trying Choung Garden. Fan Wu’s password expired before starting the school year. Sophie Wynde was sent to sleep with the fishes. Xiangdong Xie was sent to party with the fishes. Jimmy Xiong always asks permission to go to the bathroom. Shamiram Yousef is studying pre-med to rebel against their parents’ attempt to live vicariously through them as a starving artist. Emily Zaffiro actually met Roy G Biv. Andrew Zdechlik has installed mood lighting in their dorm room. Siyu Zhang has installed Darkness in their dorm room. Qianxue Zhao knows the entire dance from Napoleon Dynamite. Yuangi Zhao came to Grinnell to lose themselves. Jimmy Zhu can always photosynthesize if the D-Hall is closed. Nathaniel Zhu sleeps under their bed to psych out the monster. Mike Zou hates alphabetical lists. Tapiwa Zvidzwa hates alphabetical lists more.